Thursday, May 17, 2012

Yoga Sculpt - Round 2... Yeah, It Really Doesn't Get Much Better the Second Time Around

Well, my friends. Here we are again. Another week... another yoga experience.

I hadn't been to yoga this whole week because of other things going on during the week. I was actually kind of craving my yoga class this evening... seriously, that detox feeling that you get after one of these classes is a-ddicting. So after one loooong week, you better believe that I was eagerly awaiting that yoga class of mine this evening.

After last week's disastrous Yoga Sculpt experience, I'd decided to just stick with the regular hot yoga classes. You know, kind of EASE my way into the whole yoga world, if you will.And thankfully, the class that I was going to make it in time for was just that (per the online schedule that had been posted)... sweet deal. Just some stretching and strengthening, but NO WEIGHTS.

Wahoo! I was totally down.

Yeah, that lasted until precisely the moment I stepped into the yoga studio and headed towards the front desk to check in... where one of the instructors was informing one of the other students who had just arrived that the 7:15 PM class got switched at the last minute to... that's right.

A Yoga Sculpt class.

I swear... sometimes, I really think God is just looking down on me and... well, having Himself a nice little chuckle, if you will.

Well, what was I supposed to do? As much as the thought of Yoga Sculpt... well, frankly, terrified me... I hated the thought of having made it all the way to the studio only to wimp out. I wanted my body cleanse/detox for the day!

Carpe diem and all that.

That's right, folks. I was going to stick it out.

Three-pound weights... I WILL conquer you today.


I swear, I don't know where my mind goes. I really think I'm warped sometimes. Because for some reason, I really get it in my head that I'm quite strong when, I mean... if you read that last blog post, you KNOW that's not the case. So the class actually started out just fine and dandy. We really eased into the session and... oh! I can't believe I've waited this long to tell you! The yoga instructor... was definitely from Ohio!! Weee!!

Now, if you know me at all... you know I love me all things Ohio! (Okay, that's an exagg. I don't love ALL things Ohio. But I do have a soft spot in my heart for Ohioans.) Granted, this girl was from the Mistake by the Lake (Cleveland), but whatever. She at least had the home state down pat.

Anyway, so that little bond really helped my motivation levels (again, I swear. Some of the things that motivate me? Not very well understood.) to start off. But... well, as the class progressed, I swear, this yoga instructor's chipper, encouraging voice just started... well, not going to lie- I was getting a little annoyed!

I mean, COME ON! How many f'ing lunges can people do with free weights in their hands? And reps? Again, come ON. How many reps do people really NEED to do? I swear, everytime I thought it was going to be the "last" set, this darn instructor would be like "Okay, guys! Just ten more... you can do it! Just ten more!" *Pauses for a few seconds while we've gone through two reps and then begins counting* "Ten, nine..." And let me tell YOU- when it comes to yoga sculpt, those extra two reps are felt in every. way. possible.

Honestly, there was one point where we were in plank position on our mats doing these push-up type things, focusing on breathing, focusing on... well, not dying, in my case. So, after like a million of these, the yoga instructor is like "Okay! Just five more... YOU can DO it!" (I swear... that voice... that TONE... sends chills down my spine even now) and well, we're all pretty much dying. I mean, I know you're supposed to focus on your breathing and all that, but honestly. That's a lot to keep track of when your primary focus is centered around not dying. Anyway, so we get through those last five just fine (well, that's another exagg but whatever) and I'm honestly ready to collapse- quite proud of myself for having really pushed through that last set.

Untillll... that damn yoga instructor immediately is like "Okay! Let's kick it up a notch! Come on, guys! You're doing great! You're almost through it! Let's do mountain climbers!" or something like that. First off- "let's kick it up a notch"?!?!?! What the f were we doing before?!? Secondly- well, I don't know about you but to me, no good can come of any activity termed "mountain climbers". I mean, if you were really interested in climbing mountains... well, go climb one. It was at this point that I literally just sat back on my knees and literally just STARED at the yoga instructor as she started going into this set of what looked like a godawful combination of lunges while in a plank pose.

To be perfectly honest, I didn't even feel guilty about just sitting there and staring (and not even attempting). I believe my exact thoughts were, "Seriously? Seriously." coupled with a few "You have GOT to be kidding me"'s... you know, just to mix it up a bit.

Sigh. Needless to say, round two of Yoga Sculpt? Not exactly a shining moment in my life. Quite the opposite in fact... a train wreck gone zen, if you will.

And yet... yet, after all that... that's right. As I was heading to the bus stop after class, I was getting all ready, set, pumped for tomorrow's yoga class.

Sometimes, I swear, I'm a masochist at heart.

Till next time...

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