So, it’s come to my attention that, as low maintenance and NOT picky as I like to think I am, others beg to differ. Thankfully, one of my coworkers has turned this into a rather comical situation, by making me distinctly aware when I start off any and every sentence off with “I’m not the biggest fan of…” or “Yeah, I really don’t like…” Sigh. What can you do? So I present to you… the ever-eloquently named…
List of Things I Don’t Like that Most Normal People Do
1. Food in general – I had to put this on here because I have been told by MULTIPLE people that I am picky. I really don’t think I am though. I will eat anything that is put in front of me. I just think people tend to overglorify a lot of food (ie: that was the best pizza EVER… really? It’s not the best pizza ever if you’re saying that about like ten places you’ve been…). Now, maybe it’s me just getting caught up in all the overhype and having nowhere to go but down (aka: disappointment) once I try something that’s been overhyped, but still. I really don’t even think that’s true because there are other places which I’ve tried due to the overhype component that I’ve definitely heavily advertised to others (ie: Magnolias cupcakes, Mollys cupcakes, maybe just a cupcake thing? Who knows).
2. Water – I remember having my one free day with a personal trainer when I first joined a gym, and, while he was telling me about how he likes to motivate himself for a workout by picturing a nice big treat for himself after a hard workout. I still remember his exact words involved: “During a really hard run, I like to picture myself downing a nice cold glass of… water.” Wtf- talk about a letdown. I mean, it’s not like I crave a glass of COKE or anything when I finish working out. But water? Really? For some reason, water just does NOT taste good to me, even though it’s supposedly tasteless. I’d rather just go thirsty than drink water, to be perfectly honest. That’s the other thing- I don’t think my body needs water- I don’t really notice any significant differences if I drink it versus if I don’t, whereas I have a few friends who are like camels and can drink like a jug of water in one day. Trust me- I don’t even TRY to relate to those people on this level.
3. Flowers – I just don’t understand the point of them. Unless they’re a complete out of the blue surprise on a random day. In which case, fabulous! But otherwise, flowers as a present for a birthday or something? I certainly do. Not. Think. So. To me, that just illustrates the lack of thought put into the aforementioned present, as it’s generally accepted that “any girl” just “loves flowers”. Please.
4. My birthday – Trust me, as celebratory as I am about like everything and everyone else in life, this comes as quite a surprise to many. Now, don’t get me wrong. I absolutely LOVE celebrating others’ bdays (ESPECIALLY surprise bdays! Alkdsjflask! Best things EVER!) but I just don’t like celebrating mine. Part of it is truly because I don’t really like having a lot of attention placed on me for something that is really outside of my control (I didn’t CHOOSE to be born; my parents did. I think. Unless I was an accident. Which is a whole other story entirely that I have yet to hear about. But whatever.). Attention that I bring on myself? Well, that’s just another story, let’s be honest here J But for the moment, we’re focusing on birthdays and how I don’t like mine. I mean, I just don’t understand why people can’t celebrate everyone in their entirety every single day… but apparently that’s just me. Whatever.
5. Valentine’s Day – whether in a relationship or not, I have never enjoyed this holiday. Ever. Which, again, comes as a surprise to many people considering I love celebrating life (and so with life, comes love) in general… and you KNOW I get way too overly excited about other people’s love stories (I’m just going to directly reference Missy and Scott here. Hope you guys don’t mind. Whoops. Oh well. At least the shoutout is (HIGHLY) complimentary in nature.) Going along with the birthday theme here, again- why not celebrate the ones you love every day? I mean, it really should be effortless if love actually is all around (OMG DON’T YOU LOVE THAT MOVIE!! Lkjafslkjafsldkjalksfdjaslkjfd FAVORITE lakfsjdlkajfsdlkajsl!!!! And I’m so proud of myself for just sliding that quote right on in there ever so slyly… sigh. I do amaze myself. I really do. ANYWAY.) The same goes for other holidays where this whole giving of presents thing is involved. Don’t get me wrong. I’m all about presents. But I prefer just giving/getting presents on an ordinary day when it’s least expected- simply because one was thinking of someone else. I think this is just in keeping with the fact that I hate commercialization. Especially of holidays. Okay. I know this doesn’t make sense since I’m slightly obsessed with Christiemas. But that’s different. That’s more about the SPIRIT involved… certainly NOT the presents. Again, another side note.
6. Watching sports (except tennis and sometimes basketball… okay, apparently, here I’m specifically referencing football…) – I know, I know. This is weird coming from a girl who went to Ohio State. But still. Why is watching a bunch of grown men fall over each other (aka: football) entertaining? In short, it’s just not.
7. Chocolate – I like white chocolate okay, but I don’t understand how everyone’s like “oh I cant go a day without chocolate”. It just doesn’t taste good to me. And this whole dark chocolate craze? I understand it’s healthier but clearly there’s a reason for that. It just doesn’t taste good. I mean, what kind of dessert is BITTER? Ugh. It should NOT be considered dessert, thank you very much.
8. Asparagus – Maybe this goes along the lines of how I don’t like vegetables all that much to begin with (I mean, seriously, these people who are like “Are you serious? I CRAVE vegetables”… I personally think they must be lying and/or overexaggerating. Who in their right mind craves vegetables?), but I feel like asparagus is a favorite amongst many. I don’t really understand why. I don’t think it tastes any more or less better than any other vegetable… so, while I don’t necessarily dislike asparagus, I just don’t understand what all the fuss is about (ie: as a favorite veggie amongst many).
9. Animals – So this isn’t completely fair because I do like some animals. I just don’t like domesticated animals (ie: pets). I think it just takes a LOT more to impress me (ie: in terms of an animal’s cuteness) than the average Joe. I just don’t understand. Most are not as cute as everyone says they are, nor are they easy to maintain. I mean, hello. You have to pick up after them multiple times a day? Ew. Therefore, because the cuteness factor is lost on me, I don’t think the effort it takes to upkeep a pet is worth the cuteness that everyone seemingly attributes to them. Blah. However, that being said, I do like wild animals (ie: lions and tigers and bears)… I think this is primarily because I’m just intrigued with how the circle of life works and all that J
10. Popular TV shows – Shows like 30 Rock and The Office are all the rage right now. Again, I don’t really understand why. I also am not being fair in this judgment because I haven’t watched enough episodes to accurately judge said shows. But it certainly didn’t grab my attention as a must-see every week from the get-go (ie: like Friends, Full House, Fresh Prince, Cosby Show… you know, the good old days). But shows like Seinfeld and The Simpsons? Really. I find them quite boring and certainly NOT entertaining. And I’ve watched enough episodes of THOSE to adequately judge, thank you very much. Seinfeld I really never understood. Jerry’s voice just annoys me. And I really just didn’t find it to be funny (and if you know me, you KNOW I find EVERYTHING to be funny). And the Simpsons? Just plain stupid. And not funny in the least. I don’t really understand how it’s the longest running show in history. Or some nonsense like that.
11. Smartphones – okay, again, maybe it’s just because I haven’t ever had one (nor do I really have an interest in getting one)… I LIKE having a different place for my phone, internet, etc. so I don’t understand what all the fuss is about with my nice old-fashioned 1995 cellular telephone. It does the job and I would actually prefer to not have my phone attached to my hip 24/7. I can easily find other avenues of entertainment than apps on a phone… although, to be honest, I do think I could do with the Google map component of the Iphone… so we’ll see… TBD.
So there you have it. Reasonably justified, correct? Yes. Thank you very much.