why i should never get another massage...

after returning to chicago slightly unexpectedly this week, i was quite excited for my weekend here. huge party plans this weekend? a fancy schmancy wine and dine event going on? please. ironically enough, the primary reason i was quite excited for my weekend here was because i had absolutely ZERO plans (aside from mapping out a way to "coincidentally run into" Sherri Shepherd while she's here in CHICAGOidskljflkdsj!!! I LOVE SHERRI SHEPHERD!!!!!)... a welcome relief after the past month and a half or so, where i don't feel like i can keep up with a lot of things going on in my life. but whatever. let's focus on this weekend of rejuvenation and relaxation, if you will. i was already bracing myself for a gloomy, rainy weekend. but when i woke up this morning, the doom and gloom really set in. i mean, LOOK at these clouds... can it GET any more depressing?

whatever, lemons and lemonade and all that. i decided to seize the day and make it as rejuvenating as possible, gloom and doom and all. so first thing in the morning, i took the opportunity to schedule myself a hard-earned (haha. yeah right) swedish massage. i'd been to this place, Spa Soak (http://www.spasoakchicago.com/), about a year ago and loved my deep tissue massage (not like i really knew what i was getitng myself into with a deep tissue massage, but whatever, it sounded all scientific and cleansing and whatnot)... this time i just went for a standard swedish massage (primarily because it was cheaper... frugality is my middle name) for a half hour, because i distinctly remember going stir-crazy during my hour-long deep tissue massage.

i highly recommend Spa Soak to everyone. the grand total two experiences i've had there have been PHENOM. it also helps that you totally feel pampered and all high-class and stuff, considering it's housed in the ever-prestigious Belden Stratford hotel... tell me that YOU wouldn't feel all important if you were walking into THIS:

yup. that's right. even though the Belden-Stratford is located down the street from me, i still kinda just want to vacation there. haha. oh well. so i head down the stairs to Spa Soak to begin my enriching, pampering, relaxing massage.

it started out all nice and relaxing and soothing. i mean, the MUSIC they play is enough to make you melt into a state of complete and total relaxation. so there i was, getting all settled into my little massage experience when... well, i certainly dont remember this happening with that deep tissue massage but... i got all ticklish when the masseuse started working on one area of my back! im a little sensitive about my ticklishness because i think im more ticklish than the average joe. it's to a point where it's a little scary about how i CANT stop laughing so hard my stomach hurts.

so you can imagine my slight sense of panic as the ticklishness starts to set in... and i have no release! i mean, i cant start like CRACKING UP while on the massage table... hello! that would totes defeat the whole purpose of a relaxing, meditative masssage. so there i was, trying to just hold the giggles in (my stomach has never been so clenched in its life), when the masseuse finally moved on to a different, non-ticklish part of my back.

whew. crisis averted... oh wait. because of course, of COURSE, the masseuse has to make sure that ALL the kinks are out of my back, ticklish spots or not. aaaand so, that area was revisited just a fleeting few minutes, if not seconds, later. i resumed my clenched stomach position to contain the giggles but you can already clearly see how non-relaxing this whole massage experience was turning into, right? i mean, it was actually turning into a nice, informal pilates exercise, if you will.

as if that weren't enough... my darn phone started vibrating a few minutes later, thus TOTALLY killing the whole zen ambiance that the music of that room was supposed to be providing. ugh, i was a little mortified and apologized to the masseuse (who just kept right on massaging away... making me think she was a little more than used to this kinda thing happening... right?)... but then... well, you read my last blog post right?

of course, after hearing the phone vibrate, i couldn't stop THINKING about my phone. who was calling? why was said person calling? did that person leave a text message? hmm, did i have email? i wonder if anyone had written on my Facebook wall in the past half hour? i mean... i was totally in a situation where i couldn't even SEE my phone! who KNOWS how much activity my little green blinky light was reflecting?!

GOD, well after THAT... forget about it! i just got all stir-crazy! here i was, thinking a half hour would be just long enough to appreciate the massage experience yet avoid the whole stir-craziness factor of my last hour-long massage... but, well, not so much. i couldn't wait to leap off that massage table and grab my phone.

the massage ended shortly thereafter (although it felt like EONS to me), with the masseuse leaving the room with the kind, zen-like words of "take your time getting up, there is absolutely no rush".

HA. little did she know. as soon as i heard that door click shut, leaving me with all the time in the world to 'get myself together', i literally like LEAPED off that massage table and, before even putting my clothes back on, checked my phone.

ugh, my life is reaching new, technologically-addicted lows. but GOD, just having that phone safely back in my hands was so self-satisfying... so rejuvenating... so... the feeling that that massage should have been providing me in the first place.

oh well.