Monday, May 24, 2010

"...i know, RIGHT?! dude, did you see the way he just peaced on OUTTA that joint? hella rude if you ask me. he must think he's a grip of SICK..."

you know, i never realized how much my maliyacular has some inherent californian roots. until, that is, i was chatting away with one of my current (midwestern) coworkers on instant messenger and all of a sudden she whipped out this whole "alright im about to peace outta here" and i was SO EXCITED because i hadnt heard ANYONE else say that in my nine months back in the midwest. upon excitedly letting her know that i was so happy to FINALLY hear someone else on par with my daily vocabulary, there was a slightly awkward thirty second pause (a long time in IM world!) before she was like "oh, you didnt get it? i picked it up from you".

oh. aw man. why cant i just speak NORMALLY? oh who am i kidding. i love the spread o the maliyacular! although, i have to admit, much of my maliyacular is traceable to a wide variety of individual roots. dont get me wrong, im as creative as they come (hello people, who are we kidding here), but im not going to steal credit where credit is very darn well due. even maliyacular wasnt of my own accord... hazel w is the sole creator of that one. (no worries, i'll be dedicating another blog post of mine to the wonders and glories of the hazel herself soon enough).

anyway, it was actually as i was talking to hazel this fine evening that i realized just how MUCH of my maliyacular has some california roots. therefore, this post is devoted to... the maliyacular's californian roots... (now, dont get confused, these are not the SOLE components of the maliyacular... just a few prominent components that i picked up on the west coast that, apparently, is quite foreign in the midwest)

definition/usage: i know what youre probably thinking. i lived in sf... peace love and happiness and all that hippie jazz. well, sure. but if anyone knows me, im pretty much as straight up gangsta as the next gal pal (the fact that i used gangsta and gal pal in the same sentence should really tell you something about the success of my ghetto attempts) SO, in my maliyacular, "peace" is more of a term of farewell.
stellar examples: "aight* dude, im 'bout to peace" or "alright, im about to peace outta here" or "man he peaced the HELL outta there as soon as he heard about that"... well, you get the idea right? i mean, i guess you could also just leave it at "peace" but me? depart on one word? please.
kudos: the funny thing is i picked this one up while i was in california but one of my friends from new york (JESS!!! heart and SOUL!!!!) started saying it and well, the next thing you know, 100% incorporation into the maliyacular.

*aight = "alright" in case you arent down with urban dictionary... hahahaha

i know RIGHT
definition/usage: emphatic agreement, leaving no room for questions
stellar examples: "man, will smith is the finest thing alive"... "i know, right? RIGHT?!" - as you can see, this example provides pretty much an undisputed fact, so the emphatic addition of the "RIGHT?!" after the natural "i know, right?" phrase is 100% acceptable and appropriate
kudos: this guy i used to work with, jackson, was only one of the funnier people ive met in my life and would literally use this phrase all. the. time, while i worked on his project. i really dont think he even meant for it to be funny- it was just such a natural component of his speech. perhaps because he was so funny himself, he kind of made this phrase so humorous to me. i cant help that ive valley girl'ed the tone of it to a tee of nothing short of perfection.

definition/usage: to refer to any man/woman/child. this word knows no bounds. well, okay, maybe you shouldnt be using it on children. but any man or woman, sure. well, maybe you shouldnt use it with your boss or your grandmother... well, whatever use your best judgment- im just here to supply the words, not to guide your OWN maliyacular...
stellar examples: "DUDE! do you know alma?? she and i just spent about the entire morning talking about our love for you... i cant believe you knew her in sf!!" - please note that i am talking to hazel in this particular exchange. hazel is female.
"dude, shut UP" - please note that i am talking to my coworkers steve and brian in this particular exchange. steve and brian are male.
i hope these examples more clearly demonstrate the unisex nature of this term.
kudos: i actually dont even remember who/where i picked this up from. all i know is that it is un-f'ing- common to hear people use it in the midwest. thank goodness for alma (who is referenced in the above quote), a recent midwestern transplant from the bay area and, quite frankly, the only other person i know here who actually uses such a fabulous term on a regular basis.

definition/usage: awesome, cool, sweet
stellar examples: "have you ever MET evan?? he's so SICK" - please note, usage of this word is HIGHLY dependent on your tone, as you never want to spark a frenzy of concern that evan is sick in a health-related sense. i dont capitalize such emphasized words for no reason, my friends.
kudos: given the above example, of COURSE youll know that i learned this from the one and only evan f himself... only pretty much one of my favorite people ALIVE, evan's the definition of awesomeness/coolness/sweetness. therefore, if HE'S using this word in a non-health related sense, you KNOW it's only pretty much THE thing to be doing. while i havent incorporated such terminology as frequently as the aforemntioned couple of words, it's definitely stuck with me and im going to renew my focus on said incorporation into my maliyacular.

definition/usage: a LOT of something or other
stellar examples: "man, oprah sure does have a grip of cash"
kudos: okay i was just introduced to this word today so give me a break for having a slightly lame "stellar example" here. once i start incorporating it on a more regular basis, im sure its usage will ease into a more natural state. again, of course, i have no one but haze the craze to thank for this one. hazel, i owe a grip of gratitude to you... sigh, it'll flow more naturally in a few more weeks. im going to make a concentrated effort to use this once a day to get it firmly ingrained into my maliyacular as well...

definition: extremely, very much so
stellar examples: "that was one hella buggin wave"
kudos: okay, so maybe i just added the buggin part. but the hella being used to describe a wave sounds pretty on par with californians themselves, right? i think the buggin part came from too many viewings of clueless... BUT in my DEFENSE, clueless DOES take place in california... there we go. hmm, hella. i actually dont know from WHOM i picked up this phrase... hmm. i raise an interesting question actually... ill continue to ponder that one and let you know asap... im sure youll be waiting on the edge of your seat...

so, in conclusion, by all means, please feel free to take the above references and incorporate them into your OWN maliyacular! perhaps you can start out with a sentence like... "...i know, RIGHT?! dude, did you see the way he just peaced on OUTTA that joint? hella rude if you ask me. he must think he's a grip of SICK the way he just strutted on out. ugh please- i do NOT think so."

alksdfjlksdjf!@!! what do you think?!?!?!? im actually rather proud of this concoction!!!

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