Monday, June 27, 2011

Why I am Stuck in the WRONG Age-Span

Do you ever feel like you don't act your age? I think it would be the coolest thing if we were just born into one age-span and stayed there for our entire lives.

If that were the case, I would most certainly choose to be born into... hmm... the 50-60 year old age-span.

I know this sounds a little weird to want to shoot right on up into the golden years, but I really believe that, after the age of 18, I could have just bumped my way on up to the 50-60 year age-span and been perfectly content for the rest of my days.

With such a grandiose (not to mention completely off the wall) statement, I've taken the liberty of detailing exactly WHY I believe my 20s are lost on me. I narrowed it down to three primary points (all of which have the same general theme, let's face it), but trust me. The list could go on and on...

Why I am Stuck in the WRONG Age-Span

1. I don't really understand the POINT of "going out"... I mean, when I'm out with my friends, I'm hanging out with my friends- why go to some loud, bumpin' bar/club when we could just hang out at someone's apartment or even a low-key (read: quiet) bar?

How on earth are people supposed to enjoy the art of conversation (I guess thinking that people WANT to enjoy the art of conversation when frolicking out and about is my first misstep here...) when people are jam PACKED into a club (to the point where one is more than likely partaking in a SIGNIFICANT fire hazard violation) where the music is so loud you really can't even hear the person next to whom you are jam-packed?

I mean, don't get me wrong. I do love me the merry little tune every now and then... but again, in MODERATION! I don't understand this whole "louder is better" theme that some of these clubs apparently seem to have going on.

I think this point is only further supported by the fact that the one bar that I am dying to try in Chicago is... well, a board game bar. WHAT? Who doesn't like a good board game?!

2. I am NOT a nightowl, so these wild and crazy nights out till 4 AM are few and far between (if not nonexistent, at this point). I swear, if I make it to midnight without a yawn, I am doing WELL for the evening. Let's just say that is more the anomaly than the norm.

I can't help it! I've NEVER been a nightowl... rather, I tend to be an extreme of a morning person! Who are we kidding, I likely awaken earlier than most 50-60 year olds... we can totally just forget about people who are in my ACTUAL age-span. But what can I say? I'm a sucker for the peace and quiet that only a luxurious early morning can bring.

3. This whole excessive alcohol consumption is NOT interesting to me anymore. I really don't understand how people my age are still going strong. I mean, for the most part, we've been doing this since we were in our teens... that's a DECADE PLUS, people! Having a story about how hung over we are the next day after a raging night out really does NOT provide the entertainment that it used to... in my opinion, of course. I'm sure there are plenty out there that beg to differ.

I think my whole thing with this topic is that I really have tried oh so many times to find alcoholic beverages that I actually ENJOY drinking. After a decade plus of experimentation, I have come to the conclusion... that there is none (for me).

I think I'm just super sensitive to the tase of alcohol or something. But honestly... when someone is like "This beer is JUST the dessert I was craving", I swear I have a VERY hard time holding back a somewhat judgmental stare. Seriously? Beer=dessert? I do NOT think so.

While I will not turn any beverage down (Can I help it that I succumb to societal socializing norms? Or that I take weird pride in how well I can take a shot?), I can 100% assure you that IF I had to choose ONE alcoholic beverage to down, it would be a mudslide... which, let's be honest, is pretty much a milkshake.

Trust me, while there are plenty of other reasons why I believe my 20s are truly lost on me, I think you pretty much get the gist of this, right? Right. And, let's be honest, this blog post has gone on long enough. (What? I like to fully SUPPORT my arguments, thank you very much!)

Off to knitting class! Hahaha... just KIDDING. Geeeeez.

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