well, this year, one of my favorite people in all the world had me (i was de-lighted, to say the LEAST!) and only got me like the greatest christiemas present ever... a basket full of all things christiemas. i can itemize the contents of the basket (let's just say, there are a LOT of things required to make that gift basket reach "all things christiemas" status) but the signature item of the basket was a can of whipped cream... not just any whipped cream, my friends. alcohol-infused whipped cream. have you ever HEARD of this stuff? i certainly had not. but apparently it's all the rage with high schoolers, college kids, young adults, regular adults, the elderly... well, whatever. you get the idea, right?
anyway, what a FANTASTIC present! sugar+alcohol? how can you go wrong? after all, my favorite alcoholic beverage is a mudslide, because of all the sugary deliciousness that masks out the gag-me flavor that alcohol typically has... anyway, so of COURSE i had to tote it along with me in my little laptop backpack (im the coolest person alive) as we move from the office holiday party to a night out on the town. and by out on the town, i mean to a bar called kerryman's. i'd heard about this place but had never actually been, so i was quite pleased where we ended up (after a couple of wrong turns, but whatever.)... anyway, this place was PACKED (and rightly so, it is SO GRAND!) so as soon as our group of like fifteen enters, of course we're going to just be crammed in like sardines, standing uncomfortably amongst strangers (remember? i need my personal space...). it was at this point that one of the random girls i was crammed in next to sees my whipped cream can (yet to be opened) and totally raves about its wonders and glories to me. i was shocked! i mean, how POPULAR is this thing?? so of course, when someone raves about something, how can i NOT be tempted to try it like right then and there? (immediate gratification and all that) anyway, so about two minutes later, i whip it on open (no pun intended...) because, i mean, CLEARLY it was going to be taking some time to get some drinks at the bar, given how packed it was. might as well have alcohol in some form or another. anyway, so i spray a little dollop into my mouth and... oh. my. heavens. this stuff is STRONG. it like BURNED going down. whew! anyway, all in the name of christiemas, right? gotta take it for the team and all that.
so anyway, generosity is my middle name and only what the season of christiemas is all about, right? right. so of course, i offer little dollops to some of my coworkers who were standing around me, because i mean, come ON, who DOESN'T want to try alcohol-infused whipped cream? anyway, so it was quite successful- some of my coworkers were quite receptive to the concept/taste of it. and then, in my completely logical/rational/questionably sober state of mind, i HAD to offer some to my newfound pal who had raved about this stuff in the first place. so i find her and share a little dollop with her. and then of COURSE i didnt want to be exclusive, because she had some friends with her so i offered it all around. and man, people were so receptive. i was actually kind of surprised. i mean, if a random stranger is passing around some whipped cream in a bar, you gotta wonder what is actually IN that can, right? but whatever. golden sunshiney innocence is my middle name so how can you NOT trust me, of all people? anyway, so after her group of friends had their little dollops, i guess some other random strangers saw this little exchange and were curious themselves. and then it just made me so HAPPY! i mean, this is what christiemas is all ABOUT! bringing the world together and all that. in my jubilee, i got a little overexcited and started waving the can of whipped cream around, proclaiming "free alcohol for all! free alcohol for all and for all a good night!"... to be perfectly honest, i wasn't really proclaiming it all too loudly. in my defense. regardless, i think that was the beginning of the end.
well, WHAT? i was just trying to spread the joy and educate people about this newfound fad. how was i supposed to know that the kerryman bartenders/bouncers/whatever they were would come around and CONFISCATE my christiemas whipped cream? i mean... i dont know what their "official" title was (bouncer... bartender... security...?)... but their totally unofficial title? GRINCHES. that's right. you don't mess with the spread of christiemas cheer.
sigh. so that's sadly the end of this story. i mean, first these grinches were like "you're going to have to put that away"... which i totally DID. but then they came by AGAIN and were like "yeah, we're going to have to take that from you. you can pick it up when you leave..." good thing i scare easily and am a rule-follower when it comes down to it, so i just gave it to them. no need to stir up unnecessary trouble... that's not christiemasy goodness, right? but THEN, they were like, "yeah, we're going to have to check your purse also.." i mean, come on kerryman grinches, who are we kidding here? it's not like i go out for a night on the town with cans and cans of whipped cream in my purse. but sigh, whatever. rule-follower that i am, i just handed over my purse for them to peruse.
in retrospect, it was all rather exciting. i mean, the unknown (of what this whipped cream would be like), the highs (of spreading it to all the land), and the lows (The Confiscation). thank goodness kerryman played mariah carey's all i want for christiemas later that night... that TOTALLY restored any scrooge-like sentiments i'd harbored earlier in the night due to The Confiscation. doesnt take much, really...
ahhh. all in a day's work, yet again, my friends. all in a day's work.
*special thanks to jill for the christiemas whipped cream
*special thanks to emily for the christiemas work party extravaganzadanzaranzapalooza
*special thanks to all those random strangers to whom i could spread the christiemas spirit in the form of alcohol-infused whipped cream prior to The Confiscation
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete