Ugh. Sick AND Grumpy (well, kind of).

Let me preface this post with two disclaimers:

1. This post is completely the opposite of the tone of typical Maliyacular posts. So, if you are expecting a post filled with merriment and sunshine, well I am sorry but you can just plain forget about it. Kind of!!

2. I never get sick. Ever.

Anyway! :)

So, have you heard about this weather in Chicago lately?

I know, right? Trust me, this isn't going to be some boring old weather report. No, ladies and gents. You are lucky enough to be treated to a post filled with all kinds of things anti-merriment and sunshine today.

Let me just start off with saying that I. Hate. Rain. I hate it so much, in fact, that I lost my umbrella about a month ago and refused to buy another one because I figured "how often does it ACTUALLY rain during the grandest season of allll, Fallll?" (Seriously. I actually VOICED that thought process to a few people.)

Pretty darn often, actually. Trust me, this is NOT a pleasant revelation. Let's just say that I have since reconsidered my original plan to go without an umbrella until Thanksgiving (when I go home and can steal one from my parents... yes, I am this cheap). This reconsideration began a week ago- last Thursday to be exact.

Remember last Thursday? The day a monsoon basically barreled itself right on through Chicago? WTF, right? Anyway, so although I didn't have an umbrella, I figured I'd be okay since I was wearing my hooded, down vest. This was all fine and good for my hair, but... well, forget about the rest of my body.

I. Was. Drenched.

Not to mention UN-happy.

Because I am the greatest decision-maker ever, I decided to go out Thursday night... still amidst the rain... still sans an umbrella. After proceeding to get four hours of sleep Thursday night, I was just plain exhausted come Friday. And trust me- I wasn't exactly Miss Sunshine and Smiles. I actually was thinking to myself: "Is this what it's LIKE to be GRUMPY?" (I'm very self-aware, can you tell? Hahaha)

Anyway, I cancelled my Friday plans to stay in and rest and relax. My plan was to go to sleep super early to get back on my normal, happy-go-lucky Miss Mary Sunshine way of life.

Um. Note to self: a Cosby Show marathon playing in the background is NO way to be lulled to sleep. Now, don't get me wrong! Normally, I have no problems whatsoever dozing off with the TV in the background. But... well, the Cosby Show is just so GOOD! And every episode just kept getting funnier and funnier! This is not my fault.

So much for going to sleep early on Friday. Whatever, I had the whole weekend to catch up on my rest and relaxation. And boy, did I ever rest. I feel like I slept more than a dead person. But oh well. It clearly didn't really help all that much, because come Monday, I still wasn't feeling 100%.

It certainly did NOT help that all these weather reports were forecasting some Godawful storms/monsoons. @nbcchicago tweeted: "Brace yourself, #Chicago. The next big storm of the season is headed our way"; @todayshow tweeted: "20-25 foot waves forecast for...Chicago."

Upon seeing weather reports of this kind, I decided to do the responsible thing and go on the hunt for an umbrella last night. And sweet success! I found one!

Unfortunately, I'd just hurriedly purchased it from Walgreen's and... well, I'm no brand snob, but I guess Walgreen's umbrella quality standards are pretty minimal. I mean, I literally walked out this morning, all confident to brave this Godawful weather (seriously- when did monsoons start actually happening in Chicago?). I walk out my door, open that umbrella of mine, walk about four feet when (no joke), this damn umbrella just turned itself right on inside out.

Awesome. It didn't take me long to reverse that damage and continue along... about another four feet. When the SAME thing happened. Again. I hadn't even gotten to the end of my BLOCK.

By this point, my frustration levels were peaked (I have zero patience when it comes to rain/wind/weather extremes in general). So, after all that hunting for an umbrella last night (okay, maybe I could have exerted a LITTLE more effort, but whatever), I just closed my umbrella right on up and sped-walked to my bus stop. It just wasn't worth it with all this wind nonsense.

GOD, and to top it all OFF, I could barely even breathe by the time I got to the office, because my nose was all stuffed up. And it's amazing how achy one can start to feel in the course of like a half hour.

And that, my friends, is when I just came to terms with it.

I am officially sick...

... and kind of grumpy about it! I'm not gonna lie! It's kind of an interesting experience for me, actually. A sociological experiment, if you will. ;)

why i should never get another massage...

after returning to chicago slightly unexpectedly this week, i was quite excited for my weekend here. huge party plans this weekend? a fancy schmancy wine and dine event going on? please. ironically enough, the primary reason i was quite excited for my weekend here was because i had absolutely ZERO plans (aside from mapping out a way to "coincidentally run into" Sherri Shepherd while she's here in CHICAGOidskljflkdsj!!! I LOVE SHERRI SHEPHERD!!!!!)... a welcome relief after the past month and a half or so, where i don't feel like i can keep up with a lot of things going on in my life. but whatever. let's focus on this weekend of rejuvenation and relaxation, if you will. i was already bracing myself for a gloomy, rainy weekend. but when i woke up this morning, the doom and gloom really set in. i mean, LOOK at these clouds... can it GET any more depressing?

whatever, lemons and lemonade and all that. i decided to seize the day and make it as rejuvenating as possible, gloom and doom and all. so first thing in the morning, i took the opportunity to schedule myself a hard-earned (haha. yeah right) swedish massage. i'd been to this place, Spa Soak (http://www.spasoakchicago.com/), about a year ago and loved my deep tissue massage (not like i really knew what i was getitng myself into with a deep tissue massage, but whatever, it sounded all scientific and cleansing and whatnot)... this time i just went for a standard swedish massage (primarily because it was cheaper... frugality is my middle name) for a half hour, because i distinctly remember going stir-crazy during my hour-long deep tissue massage.

i highly recommend Spa Soak to everyone. the grand total two experiences i've had there have been PHENOM. it also helps that you totally feel pampered and all high-class and stuff, considering it's housed in the ever-prestigious Belden Stratford hotel... tell me that YOU wouldn't feel all important if you were walking into THIS:

yup. that's right. even though the Belden-Stratford is located down the street from me, i still kinda just want to vacation there. haha. oh well. so i head down the stairs to Spa Soak to begin my enriching, pampering, relaxing massage.

it started out all nice and relaxing and soothing. i mean, the MUSIC they play is enough to make you melt into a state of complete and total relaxation. so there i was, getting all settled into my little massage experience when... well, i certainly dont remember this happening with that deep tissue massage but... i got all ticklish when the masseuse started working on one area of my back! im a little sensitive about my ticklishness because i think im more ticklish than the average joe. it's to a point where it's a little scary about how i CANT stop laughing so hard my stomach hurts.

so you can imagine my slight sense of panic as the ticklishness starts to set in... and i have no release! i mean, i cant start like CRACKING UP while on the massage table... hello! that would totes defeat the whole purpose of a relaxing, meditative masssage. so there i was, trying to just hold the giggles in (my stomach has never been so clenched in its life), when the masseuse finally moved on to a different, non-ticklish part of my back.

whew. crisis averted... oh wait. because of course, of COURSE, the masseuse has to make sure that ALL the kinks are out of my back, ticklish spots or not. aaaand so, that area was revisited just a fleeting few minutes, if not seconds, later. i resumed my clenched stomach position to contain the giggles but you can already clearly see how non-relaxing this whole massage experience was turning into, right? i mean, it was actually turning into a nice, informal pilates exercise, if you will.

as if that weren't enough... my darn phone started vibrating a few minutes later, thus TOTALLY killing the whole zen ambiance that the music of that room was supposed to be providing. ugh, i was a little mortified and apologized to the masseuse (who just kept right on massaging away... making me think she was a little more than used to this kinda thing happening... right?)... but then... well, you read my last blog post right?

of course, after hearing the phone vibrate, i couldn't stop THINKING about my phone. who was calling? why was said person calling? did that person leave a text message? hmm, did i have email? i wonder if anyone had written on my Facebook wall in the past half hour? i mean... i was totally in a situation where i couldn't even SEE my phone! who KNOWS how much activity my little green blinky light was reflecting?!

GOD, well after THAT... forget about it! i just got all stir-crazy! here i was, thinking a half hour would be just long enough to appreciate the massage experience yet avoid the whole stir-craziness factor of my last hour-long massage... but, well, not so much. i couldn't wait to leap off that massage table and grab my phone.

the massage ended shortly thereafter (although it felt like EONS to me), with the masseuse leaving the room with the kind, zen-like words of "take your time getting up, there is absolutely no rush".

HA. little did she know. as soon as i heard that door click shut, leaving me with all the time in the world to 'get myself together', i literally like LEAPED off that massage table and, before even putting my clothes back on, checked my phone.

ugh, my life is reaching new, technologically-addicted lows. but GOD, just having that phone safely back in my hands was so self-satisfying... so rejuvenating... so... the feeling that that massage should have been providing me in the first place.

oh well.

one word: COZY!!!!

ahhh!! cozy time!!!

with the holiday season in full swing, i find no better opportunity to maximize the use of my favorite word in the English language... COZY. that's right. i mean, just look at the word. all the simply delightful ideas that are conjured up with just the THOUGHT... fireplaces (preferably with a book and blanket), hot chocolate (with homemade marshmallows), couches (REMEMBER HOCKING HILLS?!! oh a** heaven... oh sigh. okay i need a moment), napping and, quite frankly, spooning (quite possibly the greatest definition of cozy if ever there was one...), baking extravaganzas, mindless television marathons (preferably with the sister... oh how she knows how to pick 'em... keeping up with the kardashians being the latest... journey shall we say...)... oh i could go on and on.

last week, however, i was greeted with something that i always associated with the epitome of coziness but hadnt experienced in a solid two and a half years... SNOW!!! oh gosh, just the thought...

well. actually. it was slightly disappointing. here i was, hearing right and left about the impending blizzard upon us... i couldn't keep myself from grinning from ear to ear (while, im not going to lie, most others around me were quite wary and kind of annoyed with the thought of an impending blizzard! i mean, i just didnt understand). so, you know me. im already a morning person. this morning, however, i gleefully arise with the eager anticipation of a traipse through the blankets of white (in my brand spanking new snow boots, no less!) to get to my bus stop... after all, the mere day before we'd received the wonderful preview of a slight dusting... no better way to welcome the holiday season in full gear! but what did i awaken to that fine morning after the prediction of blizzard amounts of snow and arctic chills?

rain. cold. dreary. rain. heck, the snow dusting from the day before had actually MELTED.

um. i KNOW, RIGHT?? crestfallen didnt even begin to describe the downward spiral of the emotional rollercoaster that morning.

oh chicago. what. a. tease.

needless to say, i am NOT holding out much hope for the wintry chills and snowy mounds predicted this week. heck, im bringing the flip flops back. taking a stand if ever there was one, thank you very much.

no worries. ive just decided to take matters into my own hands and just create the semblance of coziness (hey. if mother nature's not going to step up to the plate, SOMEone's gotta!)... ive got my two cozy songs for the season nice and lined up on my itunes (for reference: all i want for christiemas is you by miss mariah herself and baby it's cold outside by willie and norah), my cozy holiday activities lined out (this daley plaza christiemas marketplace better be darn impressive...), my cozy chai stocked, my cozy baking extravaganzaranzadanzas lined up, my cozy love actually viewings already in full swing (was it sad that i was all set to just rewind and watch it again after my viewing yesterday?... and that wasnt the first time i watched it this season...sigh. at least im shameless about advertising it), my cozy snow boots ready and waiting (for something other than rain...)... well, you get the idea.

ahh!! cozy time!!! how would YOU actively embrace such a concept?