How Mother Nature OWNED Us

I can't believe it's been over a week since my last update! Suffice it to say that there was NOT much going on last week - you better believe that with the onset of that Godawful heat wave, my activities were quite limited to those of the indoor, air-conditioned sort.

Let's just say- I do NOT do extreme weather conditions. I mean, wasn't it just yesterday that we had a blizzard of historical proportions come barreling along our way? I'm all about the four seasons but this is seriously taking the four seasons to all KINDS of extremes.

Anyway! Since I'm the epitome of all things sunshiney goodness (duh), I've taken it upon myself to focus on the bright side of this heat wave. A list, if you will... a list of...

How Mother Nature OWNED Us - Making Lemonade Outta Those Heat Wave-y Lemons

1. The SUN! - You know me, a victim of Seasonal Affective Disorder if ever there was one. I NEED some serious sunshine in my life and... well, I can safely say that last week certainly sufficed. That sun was beaming its little rays down on us all the livelong day. Even though I was too busy taking cover in the shade and, more likely, in air-conditioned hotspots, I still have to say that I liked LOOKING out at sunshiney goodness.

2. No running! - You know me! The picture of love and devotion for this fine pastime we call running. HA. Needless to say, some executive decisions about my running schedule were made by about 7:15 each morning last week, as I would watch Al Roker dutifully unveil his Heat Wave map and... well, GOD! That map has never SEEN so much RED! (Red=Heat Warning, just a friendly FYI) And, well, I couldn't put my health at risk for a run, now could I? I mean, what if I fainted? Or, heaven forbid, ended up puking out on a public street? Ew. Decision was MADE - nooo running!!!! Weeee!

3. Air conditioner CENTRAL - Since frugality is pretty much my middle name, I like to minimize my use of the air conditioner because... MAN, can it skyrocket your bills! Well... let's just say last week was the exception to THAT frugal little rule. You better believe that air conditioner was blasting its pretty little heart out and I had absolutely NO QUALMS about it. Nothing feels better than coming into a nice, frigidly air-conditioned space from the outdoors where you literally feel like the sunshine's rays are going to burn you alive... but I digress.

4. ...

Ummm. I honestly sat here for a good three minutes, trying to figure out another lemonade maker outta those heat wavey lemons we got dealt last week... but, well... nothing! Nada. Not a single positive thing more could be said about the strike of Mother Nature's wrath last week.

Oh, screw it. Screw lemons and lemonade! Screw me being the picture of sunshiney goodness! Mother Nature TOTALLY owned us last week... and it was GOD-Awful.

I don't want to run... so you know what? I'm just plain not going to.

Hmmph.

Today was supposed to be the grand day to start my ACTUAL half marathon schedule. 3 miles, baby! It started out semi-promising, as I woke up this morning at 5:45 after a fitful night's sleep. Well, if I'm up at 5:45, I might as well get OUT of bed and get my workout over with, right?

Wrong-o. Sometimes, don't YOU just feel like laying around? This doesn't typically happen with me- I am such a morning person, I'm usually ready to hop on outta bed and get my day started... and then take a nap or two as the day progresses. But I digress. Anyway, today was one of those anomalous (for me) days, where I literally just lay there, pondering life and all that.

Until I got bored after like 15 minutes.

So I dragged myself out of bed and headed to work early (I had a deadline anyway, so that was the other reason why I didn't want to run this morning- because I knew I wanted to get into the office earlier than normal). Anyway, no big deal, I would just fit my running in after work, I figured.

Umm. Then I left my nice, frigidly air-conditioned office and walked out into what can only be described as HEAT and, worse yet, HUMIDITY. The air was THICK with it- it was all rather disgusting, in my opinion. But whatever, I can only complain so much- at least the sun was shining (which is more than can be said about MUCH of this summer... ahem, CHICAGO. Stamp of FOOT, here, people!).

Anyway, no bigs. It's just three miles. I can just hurry up and get it over with in the half hour when I get home. As a matter of fact, I contemplated the pros and cons of running my entire bus ride home. Gotta occupy my thoughts somehow, I guess. It didn't help that I was ready to fall asleep on the bus because I was so exhausted (I SWEAR, I don't know WHAT is going on with me and my exhaustion the past few weeks). But me and that training schedule of mine... I'm anal retentive about crossing things off that calendar, don't you forget it.

Well... clearly, not today. By the time my bus had reached my stop, I'd come to the conclusion that the pros totally outweighed the cons and I should just suck it up and get this run over with. But then I walked off the bus... and was greeted by yet another BLAST of humidity, if that's possible. At which point, I literally muttered aloud "I do NOT think so"... I got only one stare so I think my semblance of sanity was somewhat maintained. Whoops.

It was awful! But I'm just such a wimp in heat and humidity, that there was no turning back. Not to mention I had a full night ahead of me! I mean, if a night filled with phone dates, eating granola and yogurt, watching Obama's national address, and duh, BLOGGING (changing lives, one blog post at a time, if you will... ha) isn't enough justification to postpone the start of my half-marathon training, I just don't know what is.

Fine, fine, fine. I'm making IN-credibly lame-o excuses. Even I realize this fact, don't you worry. Therefore, I have made a pact with myself to get my lazy butt up EARLY tomorrow to go for my run.

Isn't it amazing how, rather than just getting this one activity over and done with before my day has started, I proceed to dwell on it for a solid fourteen hours? Good times.

Feel free to yell at me tomorrow if I haven't run yet. Because you KNOW otherwise, I'll just endlessly whine about it instead. Take your pick...

the Mavs/Heat can make it into Girls' Night too, you know

I love last minute plans. As I've said before, this whole daily blogging business takes some SERIOUS work, if you are working at it as your "side" job. You know, it's not even the blog writing that takes up the most time for me. It's the sheer effort of having a very active LIFE. Hahaha. I mean, I'm a social person but a girl's gotta have her downtime.

Anyway, there I was working away, pondering what I was going to blog about tonight (yes, that's what my life has come to), when good old Alma's Gchat message came my way. God, I love Gchat... I mean, I love EVERYthing Google, but Gchat is one of the most amaz- no, no. That shall be another blog post for another time, my friends. I know you'll be on the edge of your seats.

Back to the point... So! With that fleeting Gchat conversation, plans for Monday night's blog were set! Off to Hub 51 for some wine and apps, we go!

It also certainly didn't hurt that I had a $25 gift certificate to Hub 51 to redeem.

Hahaha. You know what? It's so funny because I feel like this blog is making me sound like Deal CENTRAL! But I'm really not! I just happen to have had a LOT of deals/coupons/Groupons/promotions to which to attend in the recent past. And come on, the blog's gotta have SOME substance/general themes! Hahah. It all comes back to the blog, doesn't it? Sigh.

Anyway! I ended up getting to Hub 51 a little earlier than Alma, so I quickly snagged an open table by the bar and did what any other girl at a nice (albeit slightly frattastic) bar would do while she waited...

That's right. I picked up my book. And read. I guess that kind of defeats the purpose of being in a bar, but whatever. Can I help it that Julie Andrews' biography is just THAT interesting? I'm only at the part of her teenage, early career years... so how can I NOT be intrigued to see HOW she rises to fame and stardom (in the classiest of ways, mind you)?

Well. About four minutes into my book reading at Hub 51 (how's THAT for an oxymoron?), Alma breezed into the bar... and, well, forget about the book!

I mean, it had been a WHOLE THREE DAYS since we last saw each other! We had lots to catch up on! Hello.

Some topics included in the girl talk dishfest? Well... you would be VERY proud to hear that this whole Mavs/Heat game from last night made it into our conversation. For a whole two minutes and everything! But then... well, we had Pippa and Prince Harry to discuss (I mean, did you hear about how Pippa broke up with her boyfriend and was seen at a local pub with Prince Harry?!)... and Alma HAD to introduce me to the PopSugar app (which you better beLIEVE I will be downloading in the near future)... and, well, I don't know! The Mavs/Heat game can only be discussed for SO long, considering neither of us bothered watching it and were basing a fair amount of our conversation on... well, the Facebook status updates we'd seen dominating the news feeds during the game.

Sigh. Good times. At this point, what more can be said, really?

bikram yoga, oreo milkshakes

so my friend and i had the brilliant idea of expanding our horizons. rather than the standard dinner/coffee dates, we decided to somewhat randomly embark into the wonderful, yet highly foreign although somewhat exotic, world of... bikram yoga. im all about trying new things at least once. and with this whole running kick that im apparently on (and by "running kick" i mean that i have no idea why i signed up for a half marathon in september. sigh. it's not been one of my brightest ideas in life, let's just leave it at that.), i totally was all about expanding my exercising horizons. i feel like im fairly physically flexible for an average individual (i can touch my toes with straight legs- how much more flexible do i really need to be?), and ive taken yoga before (i always fell asleep at the end when we were supposed to be "centering ourselves" or whatever), so really, all signs were pointing to a big fat yes, christie, go for it. expand those horizons. explore your neighborhood (the studio is literally two blocks from my apartment). be a loyal friend. be active.

big, fat ha.

now, dont get me wrong. the class started out quite delightfully when one of the more beautifully sculpted men ive ever witnessed in my life hopped onto the big platform in the center of the classroom and busted out his hearty (in a soothing tone- i mean, he IS a yoga instructor, at the end of the day) welcome to us all in, get this, his NORWEGIAN ACCENT. omg, i wanted to melt. well, i kind of already literally was but you know what i mean... but wtf, i knew it was supposed to get hot hot HOT (up to 105 degrees in the studio, apparently) but i figured id be able to handle it. i will readily acknowledge that im a wimp in heat (who really likes to sweat? come on) but i figured if all we're doing is a couple of downward facing dogs and lotus blossoms or whatever other stretchy type poses these yoga gurus got going on, how difficult would it really be to withstand the heat?

pretty difficult, to answer my own question. pretty. darn. f'ing. crotch-kickin'. difficult. so difficult, in fact, that i lasted exactly twenty seven minutes (oh yes, i certainly did check the clock as i was walking out) in what was supposed to be an hour and a half class. well, what's a girl supposed to do if she feels like she's going to faint... and puke... after just the WARM UP? man, good thing im pretty shameless, otherwise this would be quite the embarrassing story to be splaying out for all the world to read.

sigh. my poor newfound norwegian crush of an instructor... he all tried to flag me down as im peacing out of that classroom (thank GOD i was just a few yards away from the exit as opposed to on the complete opposite side of the room... i shudder at the thought) but, clearly, even hot norwegian guys were not going to be getting in my way. that's right, i just blatantly ignored his valiant efforts encouraging me to stay with a simple, dismissive wave of my hand (i mean, i could barely breathe, let alone get out a coherent sentence at that point). i mean, did the man not understand??

i. needed. OUT.

so, using my every last ounce, i finally pushed open those double doors and... ahhhh. ive never been so grateful for fresh air in my life. as i continued my recuperation process (you think im kidding, but i really was still experiencing shortness of breath... although the nausea had subsided as soon as i walked out into the fresh air, thanks for your concern) in the brilliant, COMFORTABLE warmth of the late evening sunshine as i began walking home, i realized i was dying of thirst. maybe this was another reason for my lack of stamina in this class- success in bikram yoga is essentially driven by hydration, which, i mean, let's face it, im not exactly the model citizen of here (please refer to blog entry "the list of things that i dont like that most normal people do... subsection: water"). man, i thought. i really could go for a glass of water right about now (and i NEVER have that thought, i can 100% assure you.). this thought happened upon me as i found myself walking by, oh look at that, potbelly's. now, it's not all that long a trek to my apartment (literally, two blocks), but if potbelly's is right THERE, then why delay a basic human need? so of course, throwing all willpower to the wind, i walk into potbelly's, all ready set to just ask for a cup of water at the counter. the next thing i hear coming out of my mouth, however, is something along the lines of "could i get an oreo milkshake? oh, and could you make it extra thick? with extra oreos? and just a few little extra cookies on the lid?" (*smile/wink*... it really does go a long way, let me tell you)... or something like that. not verbatim or anything. hmm. not exactly the cup of water i was going for but this was clearly one of my (several) instances of verbal vomit, where i truly believe i have no control over what im saying. none.

come to think of it, as i sit here writing this, one hour and fifteen minutes after my bikram yoga debacle, i STILL havent gotten to my glass of water. but man, was that oreo milkshake quite satisfying. tasty deliciousness, if you will. and, im not going to lie, the guilt i feel from consuming a milkshake? 0%. big fat 0. because, quite frankly, i believe every gram of fat, every calorie consumed from that milkshake is still being burned off after my fleeting brush with deat- oh! slip of the tongue. ahem. bikram yoga. my mistake.

in gratitude of oreo milkshakes and, well, not dying-

christie